New Year, New Decade, New Resolutions and ultimately a new opportunities for failure. Isn't that a horrible way to enter this new season? My favorite new year's resolution was posted by a friend who said, "I resolve to gain weight, hate my family & friends more and lose lots of money. My New Year resolutions usually end up the opposite of what I plan, so I'm trying a new strategy this year!" I completely understand his mindset. As Romans 7:15-19 states, "I don't understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I do not do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate....It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what's right, I inevitably do what's wrong." How often have I uttered those same words in despair?

As I have read other posts on Facebook from friends, I see others wrestling with who they will be in the new year. Given the beginning of a new decade, the question seems weightier than usual. It may be realizing I will be in my 50's (Yikes!) when the next decade begins. When I reflect on the past decade my emotions run rampant--who I have become and who I am not--where I was versus where I am now--all I have accomplished and where I have fallen short, goals realized and dreams broken. I entered this last decade as a 34 year old, married woman doing free-lance merchandising and working for maternity company--a painful contradiction for someone desperately wanting to have a baby. Excited to enter a new decade in a marriage that had been given a second chance and hopeful for a family.

Now here I am in 2010 looking through my rear view mirror and what do I see? The blessing of a son, the journey to a foreign land, history repeating itself and the resulting divorce, jobs that have come and gone, friendships that have faded and others that have blossomed, the gift of a soul mate, passions realized and dreams broken. Eternally thankful God's hand has guided and provided through it all.

Much of the past ten years has been a wilderness experience for me. Priscilla Shirer summed up this experience for me by saying, "Salvation delivers you out of Egypt, but the wilderness is designed to work Eygpt out of you and replace the prominence of its influence in your life with God's . We must encounter and embrace the wilderness in order to align our lives to His plan."

As I ponder my new year and beyond--I know it is impossible for me to control my days--but I am torn. Should I busy myself with an endless "to do" lists or should I nurture a Mary's heart and choose to "be still, be silent, and be watchful". Recognizing the benefits of being intentional in all my relationships--both earthly and heavenly. Striving to do what honors God and distancing myself from short-sighted thrills. Seeing this as God's way of "working the Eygpt" out me and instead infuse me with Himself.

As my list of new years resolutions has grown with dreams of lost weight, better health, financial security, job satisfaction, restored relationships, improved parenting skills, solid marriage, etc. the words "be strong and courageous" entered my mind and swirled around. God intentionally led me to Joshua 1:7-9 (The Message)

Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."

There it was--My New Year (New Life) Resolution. Live life with all my heart, seek God through His Word, practice his commandments, be consistent and intentional, be courageous and do not be discouraged---God is with me EVERY step of the way. And as my devotion this morning said best, "Lord, this is what I desire. Please do it or something better!" Amen.